Careful. Carrreful. Be verrrrrrrrry carrrrrreful...

There’s been soooooooo much bad news for Chipotle recently, with one foodborne health scare after another. Slate even declared “Nobody wants to eat Chipotle’s burritos anymore.” Today Chipotle will address investors after a “stock plunge” over the last few weeks, and hopefully stabilize the situation. As can happen with any ongoing controversy, some have begun to suspect…

Dan and Deidre brush away crumbs from “Crumbs”

Watch this space for news in January of the release of another book about restaurant marketing, assembled from four years or so of columns from Food & Drink magazine—every issue since Summer 2011 has contained an article I wrote, and each article contains an action-item list of to-do’s and tips and advice and such. Suddenly…

Human beings are not immortal, and therefore are not always the best spokespeople—unless the current KFC campaign resurrecting the Colonel as an SNL alum turns out to work. It isn’t hard to imagine Norm saying “Bucket” and nothing else, just staring at the camera with nothing else to say. (To be honest, I don’t remember if I took this photo or got it off the web—if it’s yours, let me know and I’ll attribute the shot.)

Every issue of Food & Drink since Summer 2011 has contained one of my columns. Here’s the latest one, from the Fall 2015 issue. (NOTE: The illustrations and videos are unique to this blog entry.) Whether you’re a major chain, a one-off restaurant in the burbs, or the trendy venture of a serial investor with…

Neat! See, those “ice cubes” are attractively illustrated stickers the barista at the cash register would stick on your card last summer, if you remembered to bring it.  I only got four out of five. You may cry for me.

Please, Starbucks, stop talking. Stop—shhh, don’t say anything else. Gawd, you’re hard to have a relationship with. On the one hand, you’re gorgeous. Everything in your store looks terrific: all the package design, every store display, refrigerator cases and baskets filled with well-chosen brands with equally beautiful packaging—bravissimo. Whoever established your graphic standards knew what they were…

Hey! Marco’s Pizza thought of a pun!

This shouldn’t take too long. I’ve only got about fifty-seven hours worth of opinions about puns. I’ve even been on New Hampshire Public Radio arguing with an editor of The Atlantic Monthly in a mock debate about whether puns are good or bad. My position: bad. Basic reason: opportunity cost. I’ll keep it simple. In…