Grotesque magician trick with a black bun Burger King burger. “Observe; the bun is presently black—now I consuuuuuume the burger...”

Let us celebrate green poo. (I know that’s gross but it’s relevant, and I’ll explain.) Because I think something good is going on a BK HQ. They’re trying to attract the Millennials by BEING rather than SAYing, mostly. They are BEING different. They are acting like a brand whose store you’d be okay with someone…

Quick! Team up with a famous junk food that’s not Doritos! Hurry!

Pizza Hut hot dog crust pizza! KFC chicken crust pizza (the suspiciously Snoop-Doggy KFChizza)! Captain Crunch fried tie-ins with an eye to a marriage that captures the same magic as the Doritos + Taco Bell union. By comparison, Arby’s brown sugar bacon seems relatively restrained. Relatively. So yeah. It’s summertime, which is funtime. And I’m certain everyone is still in awe…

Gloria

A few hours from now, a random chicken named Gloria will randomly decide if a particular New York Burger King location will serve Chicken Fries. I like this direction for Burger King. They’ve been suffering a long time with this dysfunctional half-hip/half-drip personality disorder, where they bring back Subservient Chicken from the truly edgy Days…

Taco-Bell-Fiery-Doritos-Locos-Taco-Supreme

Let’s just give Taco Bell the game before we start: to date, there are no better examples of indulgent, wry-grin-inducing, bad-for-you, fun-to-say/fun-to-eat, delightfully tacky product innovations or new product introduction or quarterly promotional product rollouts to compare with the Locos Tacos. It’s like one of those Billboard songs or NFL stats that establishes a record nobody…