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Why do I find the current Burger King advertising so horrifying?

This update in Ad Age reveals the disappointing news that the most recent personality shift for Burger King—a cynically cute set of fake scenarios that appear to have been executed by people who have paid no attention to the conventions of mass media since 1966—is not going to change again soon.

Though I would advise every single brand to figure out what they stand for and stick with it, I wish BK had decided to stand for something that doesn’t offend every intelligent American who can’t get to the remote fast enough.

 

Good grief.

Why do these fail? I mean, I am genuinely affected by a lot of “warm” McDonald’s advertising.

…so it isn’t that I’m an impervious bastard living in a hipster vacuum.

I can be reached.

And I can even get behind a little intra-restaurant, fake-chef-behind-the-scenes humor.

But those BK spots fail, fail, fail to engage. They’re like a big, sloppy drunk that hugs you when you’re sober, and thinks they’re funny and lovable when in reality you can’t get away fast enough.

The best they can hope for is that their target market ignores the overacting and that “you love us, don’t you, America, I know you do” attitude. They just operate with the faith that hungry people who happen to be close to a BK will shrug and say, “Oh well, that’s advertising. That’s just how they do.”

Apparently that’s working.

But I don’t think that justifies the approach. I believe you can have both taste and success in business. I know you can.

Otherwise, America, we get what we deserve.

Which, apparently, today, is not a break.