Applebee’s tries the old “Cast a blowsy actress to insult people into action” approach.

Why do people spend time on Pinterest or Twitter? I bet the writers of this stuff can’t give much of an answer beyond just taking low-hanging-fruit/mocking/not-very-funny swipes at them.

Know what? I don’t even want you to pursue this. It’s irritating. Skip this if you’re already on edge today.

“Applebee’s Girls Night Out Goddess.”

It’s a solid idea: stop sharing your life online for a minute and come share it at the bar with friends and drinks and an appetizer.

Their strategy is even interesting: advertise this online-only, in social media channels where the women (they’re assuming this primarily women; okay, that’s a little whatever) are busy surfing.

Their execution might have even made sense on paper: there’s some one-liners in there that I can sort of imagine loosening the client up and cajoling them into a smile of approval. A gifted presenter could use these scripts to stage an enjoyable business meeting.

But I think these were conceived by people who fundamentally do not enjoy social media, who don’t get why people spend time there. The writers give their character a very two-years-ago, heard-it-already, too-easy bunch of crabby remarks about social media channels that show no understanding of what makes them attractive.

Then they decided to make the character an old bar fly.


She’s aggressive and drunk. Overbearing and tedious.

They have her interrupt genuinely if mildly interesting online social media video tutorials—barking a clumsy attempt at a catchphrase (you can almost smell the gin on her breath)—and they even resort to this old trick: they mix the audio on the tutorials super low, so you turn up your computer. Then they mix Aunt Annoying way, way, way too loud when she interrupts. It has the same horrifying affect as that fake car ad a few years back. Except here it’s not a neat trick, it’s a cynical ploy.

At least I’m not the only one who hates it.