Thought I’d dip into my collection of photos from those moments when I’m eating like a normal person—a civilian, if you will—and suddenly I’m embarrassing my family or co-diners by taking photos of something in the restaurant. Now is the time. And it was all spurred on by this: I am going to speak for…

Well, interesting news, in case you were wondering how they were going to escape this thing where first Darrell Hammond and then, with extreme self-awareness, Norm McDonald have been imitating the deceased spokesperson of one of the earth’s most well-known brands (even if some Millennials don’t realize there used to be a real Colonel and assume…

Let us celebrate green poo. (I know that’s gross but it’s relevant, and I’ll explain.) Because I think something good is going on a BK HQ. They’re trying to attract the Millennials by BEING rather than SAYing, mostly. They are BEING different. They are acting like a brand whose store you’d be okay with someone…

I listen to NPR. As anyone else who listens can tell you, those sponsorship messages are pretty bland. “…and brought to you by Blankenblank Vague Services, a bringer of good to the common good for over ninety decades…” is how they all sound as you tool along in your automobile. I heard one from Chipotle this…

“Thank you, America,” is the name of the spot. Here’s the script, over stirringly filmed images of people gettin’ ’er done: “You can do whatever you want; this is America. If you put enough time against your dream, you can make it happen. These days, time is scarce. Time is money. So we work freaky…