I might be confused by Domino’s emojis.


What are you trying to emoji to us, Dominos?

IDEA: You can order a pizza just by tweeting a pizza slice emoji provided by Domino’s.

Cool, no?

Wait, what do I do?

CONFESSION: It sounds weird to me. Will I accidentally order a pizza? How am I supposed to know how this works, exactly? How do you know who I am if I tweet a pizza slice? Is that considered a binding agreement? I’m confused.

Let me explain this Dominos thing one more time.

Okay, so we’re not supposed to call it Domino’s Pizza anymore, but I can just emoji a pizza slice and get an “Easy Order” pizza that I have on file? Isn’t it safer to just… just order online? Like, did you order 42 pizzas in that sample tweet up there (I counted)?

This guy had a little trouble with it. Took three hours. Anecdotal, I’m sure.

Well, as they say in the p.r. biz, just spell the name right and get some hard-won attention and call it a succes—

Oh wait. You’re… not done?

A guy crying because I guess he’s emoji illiterate and Dominos thinks it would be funny to mimic public service announcements?

Okay. So, my confusion about your promotion has been addressed in a tongue-in-cheek manner on a little microsite? Are we still doing microsites? I guess we are. What do have there?

Dominos flash cards for emoji illiteracy. Funny, but convoluted.

Mmkay. Those are funny, definitely, and looked like a lot of fun to write, but I have to confess I’m not sure whether I’m totally getting it and it’s getting late and I have a lot of stuff I was meaning to get done. Oh, wait, okay, hold on. You have something for me to watch.

[polite smile] Well, Domino’s-not-Domino’s-Pizza, you’ve given me a lot to think about.

To be honest, I feel like it’s a long way to go for a short slice of pepperoni, but I don’t want to be ogre-like. It’s funny. But so much work. Your target is young folk, I get that, and they apparently love diving down rabbit holes regardless whether they’re clearly marked as corporate-sponsored rabbit holes designed to sell them stuff.

Maybe if I lived in Colorado where getting overly engrossed in something wacky and losing track of time and then wanting a pizza were all induced by the consumption of legally ingested tetrahydrocannabinol. Actually, yeah, I’d love to see the same store sales trends across the nation, actually, to see if that cheap joke turned out to be true.

I’ll watch my Nation’s Restaurant News feed.

Anyway. Till then, I guess, um, “[confused emoji face]”