Olive Garden to Millennials: PLEEEEEEASE COME EAT HERE.

WE KNOW YOU (as a demographically defined and roughly hewn stereotype) LIKE TAPAS-STYLE SMALL-SAMPLINGS INSTEAD OF BIG GUT-BUSTING ENTREES.

Here’s small plates. Here. Happy? Happy now?

According to Nation’s Restaurant News, this is a photograph of “New small plates offerings include Crispy Risotto Bites, left, and Pizza Fritta Napoli, right.”
According to Nation’s Restaurant News, this is a photograph of “New small plates offerings … Crispy Risotto Bites, left, and Pizza Fritta Napoli, right.”

PLEEEEASE STOP EATING AT FAST CASUAL AND QSR RESTAURANTS AND COME BACK.

Remember those fun nights with your parents at Olive Garden? The breadsticks that we bring and bring and bring until you say, “No more breadsticks!” And the same with the salad?

Remember discovering how delicious creamy alfredo sauce is, before you discovered how not-that-good-for-you it is?

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE.

Only four dollars.

Okay, some are four-fifty.

Reasonably priced, reasonably proportioned: that’s what you like, right? I mean, you’re on record as fans; just, y’know, if you were going to come in, now would be a good time.

Your move, Millennials.

Love,

Olive Garden