Every issue of Food & Drink since Summer of 2011 has contained one of my columns. Here’s the latest one. Of the pizza chains near our house, my wife and I have a clear favorite—it’s relatively big (or seems like it is), its operations seem dependable, its product is consistent, it has a professional-looking logo…

“Five Guys is testing milk shakes with mix-ins, and one of the mix-ins is bacon.” Wait at least seven seconds, while looking at this chart. Now, choose one of these predetermined responses, which by my calculations are the only possible reactions to the news: 1. Those five clever guys have blown the doors off the milk shake category…

In a world where people watch only what they want to watch, two companies must use the devices of cinema to sell chicken. So yeah. That’s some lovely visual story-telling. And it isn’t implausible at all that the dad might deliver a bag of KFC to share with his son (of whom he’s so damn…

Usually when people talk about being “on the wrong side of history” they’re talking about major social issues. I’m not. I’m just talking about smart phones. And I’ve already gone on record recommending that you join them, since you can’t beat them. Be on the right side. Embrace the smartphone obsessives. True, it does cause…